/socialketchup/media/agency_attachments/2025/01/15/2025-01-15t065936648z-magazine-logo-black.png){kind=logo}
/socialketchup/media/media_files/2025/04/16/kpYUlTOGQgq1vRvrLqye.png)
Follow Us/socialketchup/media/media_files/2025/04/02/bp0BPKPDTW7xYK0H5Vga.png)
Adolescence has done more than entertain - it has become a call for change that forces us to confront some deep-seated issues surrounding masculinity and the vulnerabilities young men navigate daily.
When Adolescence was announced on Netflix, it was yet another series on young adults; hence, only a few anticipated the cultural ripple it would create. But it’s been more than two weeks since its debut; the show remains at the top spot on Netflix India, a testament to its widespread resonance, something that generated so much conversation that people still can’t help but talk about it. Its creator, Graham, was reportedly surprised at the show's popularity in India, reflecting its unexpected global reach. However, beyond its artistic brilliance and unflinching storytelling, Adolescence has sparked an urgent and overdue conversation about masculinity, vulnerability, and the lack of safe spaces for men.
In a country where films like Animal and Kabir Singh often spark polarising discussions around masculinity, Adolescence offers a unique lens to look at it from an angle of explanation for the growing insecurity many men face - an insecurity that influencers like Andrew Tate and incel groups exploit. The show unpacks the idea that young boys, in their quest for validation and identity, are often drawn toward extreme online content that reinforces misogyny and toxic masculinity. It highlights how the absence of spaces for men to express their fears and vulnerabilities perpetuates harmful cycles of repression and inevitably - aggression.
Also Read: Adolescence: Let's unpack why the new Netflix show is all the rage and sparking widespread conversations!
Masculinity and the struggle for expression
Siddhesh Lokare, who works closely with young boys, explains this societal gap. "Reality is—boys have always been isolated and taught to recognise shame in vulnerability and empathy from an early stage. The internet becomes their nearest medium and outlet for comfort in opinions. Since there are close to zero resources and conversations on masculine empathy, fragile minds are more susceptible to content that triggers misogyny and a God complex."
He points to a key moment in the third episode of Adolescence as a striking example of the masculinity crisis among young boys. In this scene, a boy under interrogation displays both arrogance and a lack of remorse—traits shaped by unrealistic beauty standards he has internalised and his father's dominant influence in the household. "It’s unfathomable how kids at 13 or 14 determine their masculinity based on projections directed at the other gender. This stems from two major things: lack of self-validation leading to dependence on women and lack of self-love leading to superficial attraction from women.”
He adds that the boy’s reaction at the end of the interrogation makes this moment even more unsettling. Despite the serious nature of the conversation, he craves attention from the female interrogator - not because of the discussion at hand, but simply because he finds her attractive and unattainable. “So many things are at play here. The argument is not about boys versus girls being conditioned. The argument is about how we continue to accept this conditioning without questioning it, without encouraging open conversations - especially with children.”
Creating safe spaces for men
Anish Bhagat, a creator advocating for gender dialogue, believes that fostering safe spaces for men is crucial. He believes that creating safe spaces for men, especially young boys, has become an urgent necessity in today's hyper-connected and emotionally repressive world. "Shows like Adolescence reveal how often vulnerability is met with mockery or silence rather than empathy. Historically, masculinity has been narrowly defined by stoicism, toughness, and emotional restraint - leading to repression, isolation, and mental health issues. Safe spaces aren’t about coddling; they’re about decompression, about creating an environment where boys can express uncertainty, fear, or sadness without the fear of emasculation."
Ishpreet Balbir, another advocate for open dialogue, emphasises that boys today are overwhelmed by toxic ideas from social media. "Young boys are exposed to misogyny and incel culture in enormous amounts. Social media does not have enough censors to protect them from taking up ideas (that are often violent and hateful). Moreover, there is no control over anything. It is next to impossible to control what they come across online. There is only so much parental supervision can do.
However, creating safe spaces for men to express themselves, to let other people know of the ideas circling in their heads and help counter them, these spaces can be essential to transforming the thought processes of young boys, often influenced by masochism. Creating safe spaces for expression, where young men can voice their thoughts and have their perspectives challenged, is vital to breaking these cycles. Young boys are often impressionable and confused. We must offer clarity at a young age to help them develop critical thinking and understand the distinction between social media narratives and reality. And it is our job, as young men who have seen the world’s ebbs and flows, to be the safe spaces they seek out for "
The influence of social media: to ban or educate?
While the need to create safe spaces for men has been widely acknowledged, discussions have also turned toward the influence of social media - particularly figures like Andrew Tate, who dominate the digital landscape and shape the perspectives of impressionable young minds. His loyal followers often adopt his worldview without question, reinforcing problematic ideas about masculinity. One of the most significant developments since the release of Adolescence has been the successful petition that led to removing all episodes of Tate’s podcast from Spotify. While Tate’s direct influence in India may be less significant than in the West, the misogyny and male rage that figures like him promote are just as prevalent in Indian society, even without his presence. This raises important questions about the role of social media in shaping young minds.
On one hand, specific influencers exploit social media to spread harmful ideologies, on the other, many actively challenge these narratives, offering alternative perspectives and using the platform to encourage meaningful discourse. This leads to a crucial debate: Should social media access be restricted - especially for users under 16? Would a ban be the most effective solution, considering that social media is also a space that fosters conversations, freedom of expression, and critical engagement? Instead of outright censorship, should the focus shift toward media literacy and responsible usage?
Anish argues against a ban or censorship. "Social media is a double-edged sword. It offers connection and expression but also fosters performativity and unrealistic standards. For instance, search 'body positivity for men' on YouTube, and you'll mostly find gym transformation videos rather than messages affirming diverse body types. Restricting access to social media until age 16 may seem logical, but it’s more punitive than preventative. The issue isn’t access - it’s literacy. Instead of delaying exposure, we must equip boys with emotional intelligence, media literacy, and an understanding of how online identities are constructed."
Ishpreet, a social media presence whose life often revolves around interacting with people on social media, echoes this, adding that censorship alone won’t fix the problem. "Social media censors often censor things almost in a robotic manner. Usage of cuss words? Censored. Nudity? Censored. Self-harm and suicide related? Censored. These censors are important, but they don’t cover other influential micro or macro aspects of it. It is subjective what the companies consider censoring. So, there is always an opportunity to exploit the plot holes. Freedom of speech or hate speech? While distinguishable, it does not fight the ideas or provide an alternative solution. Restricting the age can help, but that won’t do the job. There is still a need for conversations to take place. To combat the harmful ideas. More than restriction, it’s about supervision. Check what they interact with on social media, and ask young boys what they think about the content they consume. Challenge their beliefs. Encourage discussions rather than imposing bans."
Parenting and the changing landscape of masculinity
Beyond highlighting the influence of social media and the lack of safe spaces for men to express themselves, Adolescence also shed light on a deeper issue - the inherent fear parents face while raising young boys in today’s world. With conversations about masculinity surrounding them from an early age, parents struggle to navigate this evolving space, unsure of how to guide their sons. The show emphasised the urgent need to actively work on reshaping how we raise boys. While significant strides have been made in creating safe spaces for women, discussions around masculinity often remain stagnant. Many of the same outdated teachings about "being a man" continue to be passed down, reinforcing rigid gender expectations.
In a world where beti padh bhi rahi hai aur badh bhi rahi hai (daughters are not only being educated but also progressing), isn’t it time we rethink how we prepare our boys for a society where gender as a concept is evolving?
Siddhesh, who mentors young boys, believes the solution lies in introspection and education. "Teach your kids not to be afraid of looking within and to move away from reward-based validation. The moment we treat others the way we want to be treated, half the problems are solved. Masculinity was never a rigid concept - until figures like Andrew Tate assigned a destructive meaning to it. We need more women discussing true masculinity and more men acknowledging feminine boundaries. Psychology has long established that we pay closer attention to the opposite gender, so these cross-gender discussions are essential. This mechanism is an extension of a study done by a famous psychologist, Phil Zimbardo"
Anish, reflecting on his interactions with his younger brother and other boys, highlights the importance of representation and emotional availability. "Men are often given rigid structures for expression, leaving them confused and frustrated. Decompression is key. Young boys need more role models who normalize vulnerability. Stories like Adolescence provide an opportunity for boys to see that they’re not alone in their struggles. Representation - through narratives, films, and real-life conversations - plays a vital role in shaping how they view themselves and their place in the world."
Ishpreet, as a creator and performer, believes in using storytelling as a tool for change. "Young boys need to be encouraged to speak. During my performances, I interact with the audience to understand their perspectives - it’s a form of crowd work. The hope is that they recognise my ideas and gain another perspective. As a young man, I see it as my responsibility to consider what I am delivering to a younger audience. Fighting incel culture or misogyny is always rooted in providing more perspectives. The key is offering alternatives and asking them why they think a certain way. That ‘why’ is crucial because it fosters introspection and helps them critically examine the ideas they are forming.
Using their interests - be it storytelling, television, or online gaming - creates an organic way for them to engage with these ideas. You can’t force them to sit in a classroom for 40 minutes and expect them to unlearn harmful beliefs. Of course, introducing feminist academics, authors, and poets will help. Still, the real change comes from using the mediums they already engage with to make them reflect on the consequences of their perspectives."
As the world moves forward in gender discourse, it's time we acknowledge that boys, too, need a new framework to understand their place in an evolving world - one that fosters empathy, communication, and self-awareness. Adolescence has been made a mandatory watch in UK schools. Wouldn't it be great if it was made mandatory for all schools worldwide?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!
For more conversations, follow us on @socialketchupbinge