As You returns for its fifth season today, Joe Goldberg’s grip on viewers only tightens. What is it about him that we just can’t resist? Let's discuss!
From the very first episode of You, it’s clear that Joe Goldberg is dangerous, calculative, obsessive, and willing to kill to protect his twisted version of love. And yet, every time a new season drops, social media erupts with thirst tweets, fan edits, and confessions of affection for a character, who is, by all moral standards, a monster. So what is it about Joe that keeps viewers hooked? Why do we find ourselves rooting for someone we know we shouldn’t like?
The answer lies in a perfect storm of seductive narration, cultural conditioning, psychological manipulation, and the way the show expertly invites us inside his mind. Joe isn’t just a fictional killer; he’s a study in how charm, empathy, and vulnerability can be weaponized. And we, the audience, are his most willing victims.
That voice is a weapon and we're all willing victims
Joe Goldberg’s voice isn’t just narration; it’s seduction. Smooth, calm, and dripping with faux vulnerability, it’s the reason you forget, temporarily, that he’s dragging a body down the stairs. When he speaks, it sounds like he’s confessing to you. Sharing secrets. Explaining the why behind his darkest acts. And when someone sounds that thoughtful and sincere, it's easy to blur the line between villain and victim. This is where the show hooks us. When we hear him narrate the reasoning behind a murder, it sounds like love, protection, devotion. It’s dangerously convincing. And that’s the trap because while his words say, “I care about you,” his actions scream, “I want to control you.”
Joe fills the void left by modern men
Let’s not pretend this obsession exists in a vacuum. In a world where men increasingly seem emotionally unavailable, indecisive, and non-committal, Joe Goldberg looks like a throwback to the kind of all-consuming attention many women crave. Yes, he’s horrifying but he’s also decisive, passionate and present. Joe doesn’t leave you on read; he’s already tracking your location. And while that’s obviously deeply problematic, it still speaks to the part of us that's been taught to equate obsession with love.
We’ve been raised on a steady diet of Disney princes and rom-coms where grand gestures are the ultimate proof of devotion. Joe just takes that to a psychotic level. But the formula is the same: he notices everything, he makes you feel seen, and he puts you at the center of his universe. That’s not just manipulation; it’s a twisted fantasy made real.
He makes you empathize with a monster because he sounds like he wants redemption
The brilliance of You is that it lets us live inside Joe’s head. We see every broken part of him. We hear him trying to be better. We witness his guilt, his attempts at self-improvement, his desire to be a good partner, a better father, and a reformed man. And the thing is we’re wired to root for transformation. Even when he kills Benji in season 1 to remove obstacles from his path that lead him to his love for Beck or when he murders people in season 2 under the illusion of protecting Love, he always feels bad about it. He’s remorseful. He says he’ll change. And we want to believe him. He’s toxic masculinity wrapped in a soft cardigan and good intentions. And for viewers, especially those who want to believe in the power of redemption, that becomes an addiction. Because if he can change, maybe anyone can.
He's a fantasy fueled by culture, conditioning and really good casting
Joe’s appeal is also rooted in how pop culture sells danger as desirable. From gothic novels to bad-boy heartthrobs like Damon Salvatore or even Dexter, we’ve been trained to find morally grey men intriguing, especially when they’re attractive and charming. Penn Badgley brings a quiet intensity to Joe that makes viewers overlook, or even excuse, his actions. He’s not just a killer; he’s a bookworm, he's soft-spoken, wounded, and beautiful which makes his darkness feel like depth. Our media has long blurred the line between brooding and broken, being romantic and a red-flag, and Joe exists squarely in that seductive middle. We’re not just responding to Joe, we’re responding to the archetype we’ve been taught to swoon over and when TV makes evil that attractive, it becomes easy to confuse danger with desire.
Joe Goldberg isn’t just a villain; he’s a mirror
Here’s the hardest truth: we’re obsessed with Joe because he reflects something in us. He shows us what loneliness can morph into. What love can look like when twisted by insecurity. What happens when someone wants connection so badly they’ll destroy anyone who gets in the way, and honestly? That’s the horror of You. Not just Joe’s crimes but how easy it is to understand them. He’s not a monster in the shadows. He’s right there on your screen, staring into your soul, whispering that he just wants to be good. And part of you, maybe the same part that’s been ghosted, breadcrumbed, or disappointed one too many times, wants to believe him.
Follow Us/socialketchup/media/media_files/2025/04/22/YRuoxfkJGxZhh5K5Vyqy.jpg)
/socialketchup/media/media_files/2025/04/16/kpYUlTOGQgq1vRvrLqye.png)
/socialketchup/media/agency_attachments/2025/01/15/2025-01-15t065936648z-magazine-logo-black.png){kind=logo}
