Although the show focuses on uncovering the mystery behind Huxley and the Stauffers, HBO's documentary An Update On Our Family makes us question the ethics and need for family vlogging. To discuss this further, we spoke to mom bloggers Amika Agarwal and Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee.
Family vlogging is not something that is alien to us. You may not be an active consumer of what this symbiotic world of content creation has to offer, but you sure might have come across a few videos. A classic case of everything and anything is content, as long as you have a phone with a working camera, family vlogging has been a part of debates for quite some time now. People have been raising questions about the ethics and impact of this world of content that turns children into content pieces. While we can't deny that this content is cute and dreamy at times, it also raises questions on how much, and what should go online.
The first season of HBO's recent documentary 'An Update On Our Family' talks about this growing part of the content world that has been under the ethical radar one too many times. It takes us through one of America's top family vloggers The Stauffers who became popular, especially for sharing their pregnancy journey that Mayka Stauffer took her audience through. But the channel soon started facing backlash after the disappearance of their adopted son Huxley from their content. While the show was able to give people answers to their questions, it also highlighted the complexities of family vlogging, privacy, and the impact of this industry that monetizes on people's families.
Honestly, using the digital space as a log that saves some of the most precious moments of our lives should not be a crime. Which parent wouldn't want to use a camera to freeze a special memory from their baby's childhood! Today, however, it’s not just about sharing it with our loved ones but also about opening up our lives to strangers online, which raises concern. Tons of people enjoy scrolling through ‘a day in the life’ of a stranger, romanticizing the most basic thing in life. While ‘going to work’, ‘cooking’ and more is universal, watching individuals share their parenthood journey online has also become something that's engaging the audience. So why do people always have concerns about family vloggers?
Anything posted on the internet remains forever. These vlogs, typically filmed in the comfort of their homes, can also place the children involved in a very vulnerable position. The kids have no choice but to be featured in the videos, exposing them to fame and viewership compromising their autonomy and privacy. If there is anything that An Update On Our Family has proved, The Stauffers decided to throw away Huxley's privacy when they realized that sharing his adoption story was boosting their channel's engagement. The three-year-old, who has special needs, was presented and used as content without consideration of his well-being. The audience, who were increasingly curious about his life, failed to question the family's approach to caring for him. The conversations around caring for an adopted child with special needs, especially one who is old enough to recognize a change in his environment, became less pivotal in their vlogs.
Ambika Agarwal, who shares parenting advice online and ways in which you can deal with kids, understands how natural it is for parents to share every little milestone about their kids online. She highlights how doing the same about every achievement can inadvertently spark what psychologists call the social comparison effect. "People scrolling through our feeds might start comparing their own children’s progress with our curated highlight Reels. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt—questions like, “Is my child achieving enough?” or “What am I doing wrong?” A balanced approach might be the best path forward." Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee, a lifestyle and mom influencer, agrees about finding a balance. “Too much exposure happens when sharing which compromises a child’s safety, privacy, or emotional well-being. As mothers, we need to ask ourselves: Is this content for their benefit or ours? Sharing milestones can be beautiful, but it’s crucial to set boundaries that protect them from judgment, overexposure, or exploitation. At the end of the day, less is often more when it comes to our children’s online presence.”
One reason these channels continue to grow and flourish is because of their dedicated followers. From subscribing to these channels to asking for constant updates on their lives, this audience feeds on the serotonin these channels provide. People followed the Stauffer family on their journey as a couple to when they became a family of seven and felt entitled to know every development that occurred in their lives. The show captures this dynamic perfectly by featuring Hannah Cho. A mom herself, Cho gives us a view of the other side of family vlogging that brings views and engagement. While she enjoyed watching Mayka's family grow, what made her even more invested was Huxley’s journey, particularly because she herself was adopted by her American family from South Korea. She was a representative of the audience trying to find answers to Huxley's absence and forming theories to deal with the hurt of not being in the loop of everything happening in the family.
Throughout the documentary, which ended up talking about the reasons for Huxley being re-homed, it also opened the discussion on the effect that family vlogging has on kids. Given that kids have little to no say in being filmed, the extent to which parents share every detail of their lives online is concerning. It feels more like they often prioritize clicks and views, putting their children in potentially dangerous situations. Last year, Ruby Franke, the family vlogger behind 8 Passengers, became the face of child abuse which highlighted the dark side of this content space. Her case revealed a common belief in the family vlogging community that having more children would lead to more views while masking physical and emotional abuse with the facade of a 'happy, wholesome' family. This opened people's eyes making them question the need for these channels.
While the audience has come to scrutinize the ethics of family vlogging, what does this reality look like for the creators who share their lives online? When asked if she has observed any behavioral changes in her son, as a creator who talks about him in her content, Shweta talked about her conscious decision to share less about him as he is growing up. "I strongly advocate mindful sharing because exposure can influence kids—they may become self-conscious, crave validation, or get overly attached to screens." She tries to compensate by making an effort to create offline moments of joy and remind him he’s valued far beyond the camera. "As a mom creator, I feel it’s significant to strike a healthy balance between offline and online life, ensuring I raise a grounded child who values life beyond the lens."
For channels that thrive on sharenting, is it possible to continue their practices while keeping their children private? As a parenting influencer and educator sharing evidence-based insights and practical advice on child development and family well-being, Amika believes it can be done by adopting a practice she calls narrative ownership. "If you wish to post, take care not to reveal too much personal detail. For example, avoid sharing live location details—wait until you’re back from a vacation before posting a picture. Similarly, steer clear of posting photos in school uniforms or annual function videos that might disclose which school your child attends or reveal their daily routines." She also acknowledges parents who are careful not to share sensitive information that could unintentionally expose their child's routine. This conscious decision reflects how much we have learned about social media safety. "By focusing on sharing your own parenting journey and the lessons you learn along the way, you honor your child’s privacy while still engaging with your audience. This balanced approach allows you to connect meaningfully without compromising your child’s future autonomy."
Parents documenting every little progress their kids make may be nothing but a way for them to show their pride and appreciation. But watching them share the same online for the world to see raises both, engagement and ethical concerns. While people will continue to go back to them, these creators need to realize the basics of privacy, consent, and the long-term impact that they have on children. Prioritizing their kids' autonomy over engagement is the only way these family vloggers can bring a balance between sharing stories and their kid's well-being.
An Update On Our Family is now streaming on JioHostar
Have you watched the documentary yet? Share your thoughts on family vlogging in the comments below.
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