Creators on unlearning the shame around men’s hobbies

Creators Priyanshu, Nikhil Thomas, and Manish Poonam discuss their guilty pleasures and argue that men should be permitted to indulge in them without judgment.

Recently, I was going through my friend's shoe collection, and I wanted to know about it mostly because of how impressive it is. However, when I asked him about it, he called it a 'guilty pleasure' he enjoys indulging in occasionally, rather than admitting how much he loves it. While I loved bothering him with more questions about the collection, it was not surprising to realise how dismissive he was about his hobby. It’s not uncommon to see men find hobbies to be anything but a secret pastime, mostly because of how society deems them as unmanly or unnecessary. This inherent prejudice makes it harder for them to openly talk about the things they enjoy spending time on. Having something that helps one unwind or even distract from their everyday life is not a luxury, but a necessity that should be encouraged. Unfortunately, many men feel ashamed of the interests they pursue. 

Thankfully, social media has become a space where people are making efforts to turn the tide on how people view these and help many open up to enjoying them without feeling guilty about it. Priyanshu, Manish Poonam, and Nikhil Thomas, who are known for discussing positive masculinity through their content, which is equal parts storytelling and entertainment, understand men's distorted idea of guilty pleasure. Priyanshu and Nikhil talk about how most consider retail therapy as something that makes them feel good. Nikhil Thomas, “One guilty pleasure many men secretly enjoy is owning multiple pairs of shoes or curating a sneaker rotation." They point out how shopping gives them emotional comfort even if they don't need the item they are buying. 

Meanwhile, Manish Poonam mentions how men also enjoy experimenting with colours, expressive clothing, whether it’s pop colours, prints, or silhouettes traditionally seen as 'feminine.' But many choose to do it in secret because of "the fear of being judged for stepping outside the boring, limited men’s fashion categories society has forced on them. It’s the classic “chaar log kya kahenge” that stops them.”

This urge to push down their hobbies and just another pastime or as something they indulge in secretly comes from the idea of how society perceives them as anything but masculine. Priyanshu, "The stigma comes from the belief that emotional spending is a 'female' behaviour, so men hesitate to admit that they, too, cope through buying things.” Nikhil also agrees with him, stating how it's also because fashion was always associated with only something women cared about. "Because of this stereotype, men feel judged for something that’s actually practical and enjoyable.”

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This is similar when it comes to self-care rituals like skincare, spa days, or grooming. Watching someone discuss their daytime and nighttime skincare routines can feel like witnessing a unicorn in action, even though these are some of the most common and basic activities for taking care of oneself. A significant part of this perception is influenced by society's views on what men should be doing. Manish, "Masculine interests today are extremely restricted, especially in fashion. India once celebrated men in colourful, ornate clothing, Angrakhas, turbans, draped silhouettes. The guilty pleasure that needs the biggest shift is men wanting to explore expressive, colourful, or gender-fluid clothing. It should no longer be seen as rebellion, just personal style." 

How does early conditioning shape what boys think they’re allowed to enjoy? Priyanshu points out that boys are told early on to be “practical” and avoid wasting money. "So when they grow up, anything emotional — like shopping because it makes you feel better — seems wrong or immature." This conditioning teaches them that pleasure-driven spending is unacceptable, even though it’s normal and human. These boys grow up to become men who end up policing each other for others' choices, making their hobbies feel like guilty pleasures. Nikhil Thomas, “Yes, men often judge each other more harshly. A guy with a full grooming routine might get teased by other men long before women would say anything. This kind of peer pressure makes men hide what they enjoy, turning harmless pleasures into “guilty” ones.”

Many creators who enjoy sharing their passions believe that people's worldviews can shift if they stop worrying about others' opinions. They argue that if we eliminated all gender expectations, men would feel free to wear pink, pastels, metallics, and bold prints without hesitation. They would explore unisex or women’s sections openly, experiment with fluid silhouettes inspired by India's rich heritage, and try out various accessories, jewellery, drapes, and unique cuts. Ultimately, they would dress according to their personal preferences, without being burdened by ego-driven stereotypes.

In the end, guilty pleasures aren’t really “guilty” but simply interests that society hasn’t allowed men to claim openly. These choices say less about masculinity and more about how human it is to seek joy, comfort, and self-expression. As more creators challenge these outdated expectations, they’re helping men unlearn the shame tied to their hobbies and embrace them with honesty and pride. And maybe, with time, these so-called guilty pleasures will simply become pleasures, without apology, judgment, or hesitation.

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