Modern-day fatherhood has evolved from the stern, unemotional relationship to a more wholesome and open one. New fathers and creators Sandeep Vverma, Patruni Sastry and Sriram agree as they share their take.
Fatherhood in the Indian setting has always been about being a strong, strict support of the family, who suppresses his emotions to take care of others. Despite how superficial this idea is, fathers somehow adapt themselves to this idea and live by it. Vulnerability, emotions, and ‘I love you’ are a few things they keep away from, while they find new ways to show their love for their kids. However, this is not something that new age dads are choosing to live by. Although they may have experienced this growing up, they are making sure to embrace a different perspective of fatherhood. For them, being a dad is more than just a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled.
Being a girl dad was a transforming experience for Sriram from Traffel Couple. He describes watching his wife, Raghavi, deliver their child as something that transported him to a different world. "Hearing our baby’s first cry - it was a deeply emotional and almost melancholic moment that changed everything inside me." As a single parent raising a child on the autism spectrum, it was more like a teaching experience for Sandeep Vverma. “Before becoming a parent, I thought strength meant holding things together and pushing through.
But my son taught me that true strength lies in slowing down, being present, and allowing yourself to feel.” Meanwhile, Patruni Sastry, a trans, non-binary, drag artist, describes it as a grounding experience that has also instilled a fear of knowing someone depends on them. "But once I stepped into it and when she was pregnant and our baby was out, it became a shared responsibility."
Unlike the age-old stereotype surrounding fatherhood that distances emotions from the relationship, these new-age dads find it to be a way to connect to their emotions instead. For Patruni, becoming a father made them reflect a lot. "It brought more discipline into my life, but also taught me deep empathy." It's the same for Sriram and Sandeep, who have become deeply attuned to what could make their kids happy, sad, or even slightly uncomfortable. Sandeep talks about learning the purest form of communication from his son who doesn't communicate with words. "I have learned that empathy is not just a value, it’s a way of living—by tuning into his needs, his unspoken cues, and simply being with him."
While on the same journey of being new to fatherhood, they all have their own unique personal experiences that's opened up a new avenue of fatherhood for them. Sandeep, is on a journey to balance creating content around the challenges and joys of single parenting. While it is not easy, he calls it Dual Role Parenting, which demands one’s presence, one’s efforts despite being exhausted, next-level patience, and most importantly, life and time management. "I understand that content should never replace connection. So, I share only after the moment has passed, not during it; once I’ve had my time to reflect. I like to stay there in the present with my son, not worrying about recording or clicking pictures, because this requires me to disconnect. And, when I do share, it’s not about performance, it's about honesty." Making sure to not drift away, Vverma ensures to keep his main focus of being a parent over being a creator and hopes people will get to learn from him. "I want other fathers to know that it's okay to nurture, cry, show up imperfectly, and still be strong."
Patruni aka SasWhoMa has to find a way to navigate the intersection of being a father and a drag artist. As someone who challenges the traditional concepts of what masculinity and femininity mean, they are raising a child while defying the traditional meaning of fatherhood. "Traditionally, fatherhood is portrayed as something very masculine, stoic, even emotionally distant - a protector figure. But here I am, someone who expresses femininity through drag, who entertains people by leaning into that side of myself."
Trying their best to unsubscribe from the idea of a "macho dad", Patruni is trying to model openness and emotional authenticity for their child. "Fatherhood has made me a more responsible drag artist. It's pushed me to expand my art beyond the queer community, to create something that resonates more broadly, while still staying true to who I am. I want my child to grow up seeing authenticity, not someone who hides who they are. I believe it’s important for them to learn that you don’t have to stay quiet or tucked away to be accepted. You bloom by being open, by sharing your burdens, by showing up fully. That’s the lesson I hope they carry with them."
A lot of modern-day fatherhood is focused on taking steps to break away from traditional Indian fatherhood stereotypes and create a more open and nurturing relationship with their child. Sriram realises that he is a part of a generation that is a direct recipient of old-age parenting. "While our parents may not have been intentionally harsh, some of those experiences did leave an emotional and mental impact." This is something that he is consciously trying to change. "For me, it’s about breaking that cycle and not passing down the same emotional weight to my child."
He makes sure to be mindful in the way he speaks to his partner, how he responds during moments of frustration, and especially in how he shows up emotionally for his daughter. "Yes, babies are adorable and we pour our hearts into them, but there are moments when they test our patience. And in those moments, it’s crucial to remember that they’re just babies." The way parents treat kids is also something that lays the groundwork for how they will treat others, and Sriram makes sure to be the father who teaches empathy and kindness that he wants to see in his daughter.
No matter how tough or stoic dads are, there is a special place in our hearts for when they show their emotions. Watching them being vulnerable and express emotions that they hardly express only makes us love them more. As fathers of today, Sandeep, Sriram and Patruni have realised the positive impact that being an emotionally expressive father can have on their child’s development and well-being.
According to Sriram, by choosing to be vulnerable, expressing himself honestly and without filters, he hopes his daughter knows it’s okay and human to feel emotions. "This creates a sense of safety and emotional security within the family. She will grow up knowing that home is a place where everyone, regardless of gender or role, whether they’re a breadwinner or a homemaker, can express themselves fully and confidently." Sandeep also mentioned how being emotionally present, expressive, and nurturing creates a secure emotional environment where the child feels seen and safe.
"It also creates a relationship where love isn’t conditionally consistent, visible, and deeply felt. And I believe that’s one of the greatest long-term gifts a father can give." Meanwhile, Patruni added, "I prioritise emotional intelligence and validating my child's feelings. I’m still learning - this is a journey I’ve only just started, especially since my child is still very young." As a parent, they hope to create a space where their child has choices and resources, to help them grow into someone who is not just empathetic but also emotionally expressive. This lets their child know that vulnerability builds trust and that being subdued, being unsure, being hurt is valid.
These content creators are becoming a part of a community that's focused on creating a generation of fathers who aren't afraid of showing their vulnerability. Their emotional intelligence and openness to break from the chain of traditional fatherhood are what we need. They show us that maybe, there is still hope for how kids will be raised!
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