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Dear Parents and Queers, here's all you need to know about coming out

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Smrithi Mohan
New Update
Parents and Queers

Creators Rajat Singh and Anusmita Dutta write letters to parents and young-queers helping them deal with everything that is part of coming out.

Apart from the regular struggles that life throws at them, queer kids have an added burden that they have to deal with - feeling the need to hide their true selves out of the fear of being judged. While they could care less about society, they often lose sleep over their parents panicking about them coming out. Every child just wants to be accepted, loved, and supported by their parents and not receiving that goes on to become a wound they nurse for life. Parents often forget that coming out is not about them but their kids and Anjali and Anusmita Dutta address parents of queer kids and how they can be better allies for their kids via these letters.

Someone who identifies as queer needs a lot of strength to be out and proud of who they are. And this comes after intense internal struggle to find a label that will give meaning to their feelings. This is why listening to stories that tell their stories, seeing people living the life they dream of, and talking about their struggles without apprehensiveness is important. Rajat Singh wants young queer kids to know that and addresses them in a heartwarming letter.

Here's Anusmita Dutta addressing parents:

Dear Parent,

It's important to acknowledge that your child belonging to the LGBTQIA+ community does not make them any less valuable or unique than any other child. It's understandable that you may initially feel overwhelmed or uncertain due to societal norms and the way you were raised. However, taking the time to comprehend and accept their identity before reacting is crucial. It's essential to recognize that there is nothing inherently wrong with your upbringing; it's simply a matter of your child being true to themselves, and that is something to be celebrated.

Support and love are fundamental and should be extended unconditionally. Take pride in the fact that your child has embraced their authentic self. Treating them differently because of their sexual orientation or gender identity is unnecessary. The world can be a harsh place, which is why your child needs you now more than ever.

Coming out is an incredibly challenging and courageous experience. I recall when I revealed my bisexuality to my family; they initially didn't take it seriously. I had to have a serious conversation with them, helping them understand the concept. I was advised not to openly express my identity due to potential judgment from society. However, I chose not to let that deter me. Embracing my ability to love both men and women has made me feel incredibly strong. What's important for you is to realize that your opinion and support matter the most to your child. Unfortunately, we live in a dangerous world where people take pride in their prejudice. That's why your child needs all of your support in this battle, regardless of how difficult or uncomfortable it may be at times. Ultimately, your child is extraordinary and deserving of love. You are their most powerful advocate, and perhaps their only one.

Love,

Anusmita

Also Read - #BingeRewind: Robin Kurian analyses the shifting narrative of queer representation in movies in 2023

Meanwhile here's what Rajat Singh had to share with young queer folks:

Dear Young Queer,

I write to you with the utmost admiration and respect for the journey you are embarking upon. You are the chosen one, not because you were handpicked by fate, but because you possess an inner strength that will shape the world around you. The road ahead may seem daunting, but the journey is yet to cover miles. In this country of the blind, where conformity often overshadows diversity, it may feel as though the moon should hide its light from its truth. But the light is all that this world needs. 

Living on your terms may feel like an uphill battle at times, causing pain and heartbreak along the way. But within that struggle lies the opportunity to discover the strength and beauty within yourself. People may come and go, and life may throw its challenges your way, but you will find yourself through it all. And even in the losses, you will gain so much more. Remember, the law of life is the law of belief. Believe in your worth, your right to love and be loved, and you deserving a better world. Trust me when I say that nobody can keep that away from you. Hold onto that belief! 

Years ago, I made a promise to myself: to be resilient, to be strong, and to walk not only for myself but for others until I found the strength within. And now, I extend that promise to you. You are not weak or vulnerable. You are a force to be reckoned with, capable of shaping a future that embraces and celebrates diversity. I will not get tired of telling the world I am manly enough, I will not get tired of redefining masculinity and standing tall for those who haven't found their voice yet, for those who yearn to be seen and heard. Be the beacon of hope they desperately need. 

Now, I request you keep looking and find what you’ll never tire of. So, my love, embrace your journey. Embrace your identity. Embrace the love that resides within you. Know that even if we feel alone, the future us shouldn’t be. The world is waiting for our voice, light, and unwavering courage.

With love and solidarity,

Rajat Singh

(Someone who believes in you)

This article is part of our May-June 2023 Magazine edition!

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Parents and Queers coming out dealing with coming out