Still learning to love: India through the eyes of queer couples!

We spoke to Yogi, Kabeer, Inder Vhatwar and Ashish Srivastava about the challenges they face as queer couples in India and how choosing love becomes an act of resilience in a country still learning to embrace all kinds of love.

In the last decade, India has taken significant strides in how it views and treats its LGBTQ+ citizens. The decriminalization of Section 377 marked a turning point, and growing representation in mainstream media has helped queer love slowly step out of the shadows, becoming part of conversations that were once limited to whispers or private circles. With these visible changes around us, it’s only natural to hope that life might be getting better for queer couples across the country, even if the pace of acceptance still depends on where you live, who you are surrounded by, and how willing people are to unlearn what they’ve always known. We spoke with couples Yogi and Kabeer, and Inder Vhatwar and Ashish Srivastava, to understand what it really means to be together in a country that’s slowly changing, but still carries layers of resistance in its systems, its families, and even in everyday interactions. 

This conversation isn’t about coming to a conclusion or pinpointing the causes of the challenges they face, but simply about understanding how choosing to love becomes an act of bravery in a country that still hasn’t fully learned how to make room for all kinds of love. 

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Yogi, who has been in a relationship with Kabeer for over ten years, pointed out the lack of representation and examples of same-sex couples around them. “People didn’t really know how to react or understand that we could have a future together. But over time, with more visibility in pop culture and more conversations happening, we’ve definitely seen things get better.”

Inder echoes that sentiment, adding that the decriminalization of Section 377 in 2018 was a major turning point. “Before that, something as simple as holding hands in public would attract stares or whispers. Now, Ashish and I still encounter bias, but we also see more support, more allies, and even families that are slowly opening up to the idea of love beyond the heteronormative framework.”

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A post shared by Inder Vhatwar (@ragebydkloset)

The legal void

Despite scrapping Section 377, unfortunately, the acceptance in India still isn’t evenly spread. While metropolitan cities may offer some degree of safety and openness, smaller towns continue to lag. Inder finds that while urban spaces are definitely more progressive, societal change is not uniform. "It’s gradual, and for many, still out of reach."

What’s most jarring is how the law continues to lag behind society’s growing openness. While love is love, it still doesn’t carry the same rights and recognition for everyone. For couples like Kabeer and Ashish, this legal vacuum affects even the most basic parts of their life together. Kabeer, “The biggest issue we’ve faced is around legal documentation. We have no legal rights as a couple, and that’s been our biggest challenge.” Ashish agrees, explaining that everyday tasks like renting a house or accessing healthcare come with unnecessary and unfair obstacles. “Landlords often ask if we’re just ‘friends’ or flat-out refuse to rent once they realize we’re a couple. And in hospitals, we can’t make decisions for each other or even be listed as next of kin. There’s no formal system that recognizes us as a unit.” Not being able to make decisions for your partner in a hospital just because the law doesn’t see you as family is something Ashish still finds hard to digest. 

Both couples believe that India needs a strong institutional support and legal frameworks that protect and uplift queer lives. “We need anti-discrimination laws, inclusive housing policies, and legal recognition of queer partnerships,” Ashish states empathtically. “Until that happens, we’re living in a system that’s not built for us.”

Making room for love

While the legal system continues to stall, society appears to be moving at a slightly faster pace. Yogi states that while there is more acceptance in certain places, especially among the younger people, the laws haven’t caught up, creating a gap between how they live and what rights they actually have. Inder adds a layer of nuance to this by highlighting how legal validation shapes societal attitudes. "Without it, people still treat queer relationships as somehow ‘less than.’ We might be more visible, but unless that visibility comes with protection and recognition, it’s only performative.”

The everyday struggles they speak about are the kind that straight couples rarely even have to think about. “Introducing each other as partners still comes with hesitation. There’s always the question: will they be okay with it?” Kabeer adds that even simple conversations like dreaming of a future together are often shadowed by the reminder that the law doesn’t see them as family.

Ashish points out more tangible hurdles while pinpointing that most forms and documents don’t even have an option for same-sex partners. "Insurance, hospital records—none of them recognize our relationship. Even traveling together can be complicated. Some hotels still turn us away or ask intrusive questions. And of course, there’s the constant mental check before we hold hands or hug in public. Straight couples never have to worry about these things.”

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A post shared by Yogi & Kabeer (@yogiandkabeer)

And yet, through it all, there’s a quiet defiance. Much of it comes from the increasing visibility of queer people in Indian pop culture. Yogi talks about how representation makes a huge difference. “We were part of India’s first same-sex health insurance campaign. Seeing ourselves on billboards was surreal—it felt like, for the first time, we weren’t just a ‘cause.’ We were a real couple, living our truth.”

Inder credits shows like Made in Heaven and films like Badhaai Do for portraying queer love with authenticity and depth. “These stories help break down stereotypes. When people see queer characters being loved, respected, and understood, it slowly shifts their perception. And as influencers, we also feel a responsibility to share our story in a way that’s honest and real. Because sometimes, the most powerful form of representation is just being seen.”

Love, at its best, is ordinary. But for India’s queer couples, the ordinary is still an act of bravery. As they continue to push for rights, respect, and recognition, their stories remind us that love doesn’t need permission but some space to grow.

What are your thoughts on this? Tell us in the comments below.