These married bloggers tell us more about the relationship they share with their husbands.
Whether you’re recently single, dating for a decade, in an open relationship, or newly engaged, you’ll always find married couples who tell you that you don’t know the first thing about love. Before I was one of them, I too wondered what the big deal was about being married and why that would alter my idea of love. Turns out, that being married changes a lot of things. You notice a difference in the relationship you have with yourself, your inner circle, and also the one you share with your partner.
You’re still you but with a lot more on your plate and pretty often, the definition of love evolves when we’re neck-deep in responsibilities. There’s so much more to love other than grand gestures and date nights. It’s about showing up for the other and backing off when need be. While figuring this out isn’t always like a walk in the park, it’s like being in love with your roommate/ best friend.
To understand this better, we spoke to some of the married bloggers – Vidhi Khandelwal aka The Ink Bucket, Neeti from Packed Forever, and Mani from Extra to my Ordinary about what they appreciate about their husbands, what it’s like to be in a relationship that requires you to put in effort every single day and so much more. In short, we celebrated our own ‘Husband Appreciation Day’.
Here’s what they had to say!
What do you appreciate the most about your partner?
Vidhi – “Nikhil is unlike any other guy I have ever met. He is old school, has no interest in the world of social media, and is always chasing a new passion. There are so many layers to appreciate, his generosity, compassion, dedication, zero tolerance for BS, and small, silly gestures of love he makes every day. I love that he tolerates and even laughs at my ridiculous jokes. The one thing that still amazes me is his knowledge. He reads every day, has close to 1000 books at home, and is my walking talking encyclopedia.“
Neeti – “He knows the real me and I am not perfect but he loves me just the way I am. I can be myself and that is the best part of our relationship.”
Mani – “More than being my partner, I appreciate Rohit as my friend. I know who to call when I am having a bad day or when I have something good to share. Also, his compassion towards strangers surprises me at times. I have seen him go extra lengths for people who he hardly knows. It is a rare quality you find in people these days.”
What does your Sunday look like?
Vidhi – “I like to sleep in a bit on some Sundays because I usually wake up early on weekdays. A good cup of tea and a nice big breakfast to start the day. I keep Sunday for personal stuff that I could not tackle through the week, like doing some meal prep, baking a cake or cookies, talking to family/friends, cleaning cupboards, meeting friends (pre-COVID-19 times). Then there’s always a little bit of work that I do, it helps me plan and start the week better. We often do movie nights on either Saturday or Sunday.”
Neeti – “On Sundays, he takes over the kitchen and treats me to his amazing dishes. I cook for Laila, our golden retriever baby. We do try to do a podcast on Sunday nights as it doesn’t feel like work. It’s a heart-to-heart with listeners. Apart from that, it’s mostly Netflix and chill.“
Mani – “Our typical weekend starts with Rohit waking me up very early telling me that he is hungry and let’s have breakfast while I want to stay in bed a little longer. Once in a while, we drive to Doha Cornice to watch the sunrise.
He wants to spend the rest of his day on Netflix and I want to go out for a cup of coffee. So we spend at least an hour every weekend trying to negotiate and bribe each other. Who wins? I guess, both of us.”
What is your take on giving each other space?
Vidhi – “Oh my god, we give each other a LOT of space and that’s one thing I absolutely love. We both have varied interests and passions and there’s a lot of mutual respect for each other’s dreams and goals. I think we met at a time when we both had a fairly good understanding of who we were and what we wanted with our lives so as individuals there’s always so much that both of us are doing.”
Neeti – “It was very early in our relationship that we understood we both need our own space. I take trips and do night-outs with my best friends and he also goes for solo trips. A trip to Goa every year with my best friends is a must. I think it helps us to be our own person and also resets the relationship.”
Mani – “Personal space in a relationship means that you are taking time to put yourself first and do things that are just for you, to make choices that make you feel good about yourself. I believe it puts you in a better mindset to take care of your relationship.”
What do you expect out of him?
Vidhi – “I don’t expect too much from people. He is super respectful and mindful of my ambitions and is super supportive in every possible way. I don’t think I expect anything more.”
Neeti – “We consider ourselves very liberal but there’s got to be some rules. So the first rule is that we do not sleep over a fight. Yes, we do fight over a lot of things as we want each other to express our own point of view and whenever there is a conflict we go back to the only rule which is, “We do not sleep over a fight”.”
Mani – “Like every other girl, I have a long list. On a serious note, it is important for me that he understands and respects our priorities in life, our careers and our families. It is important that we keep growing and loving each other in every phase of our lives.”
How do you make time for each other while working long hours?
Vidhi – “It’s usually on the weekends that we try to do something together. We used to go cycling before the lockdown or invite friends over. Now we watch a Marvel movie or play a game of Sequence. We also spend a lot of time talking about work and our dreams and we both love that.”
Neeti – “Working as couple content creators, we are together all the time, but there are days when we still miss each other. Morning tea in bed is a special time for us. He is usually up early and takes Laila for a walk and then he makes tea for me. It is the best time of the day and that has become a ritual for us. We watch TV and enjoy lunch together. The walk at the end of the day with Laila is the time that we enjoy talking about how the day went and plan for tomorrow. Even if you work together 24//7, taking a break from the working mindset and giving quality time to your partner is one of the most important things for us.”
Mani – “Most of the times we wish each other good morning and then meet straight in the evening due to our hectic work schedules. We look forward to coming home in the evening and meeting each other after a long day at work with multiple stories to share.”