As the first week of January progresses, so does the chaotic pandemonium to take up those ridiculous, never coming to fruition new year resolutions. This year, let’s put up a spin on them and make it social media new year resolutions.
Hey we’re all very familiar with your conventional and mainstream New Year Resolutions like ‘I will start hitting the gym’ and ‘I will quit smoking and/or drinking this year’ and I know how well that works out. These social media new year resolutions are something we request you take up and please have some mercy on the eyes of your friends and followers.
No judgement, but if you do, please stop posting those gym selfies, and stop obsessing over likes on your pictures, and for God’s sake could you please stop believing everything you read on the internet?
All this and many more sins that need to be implemented next year as a part of your social media new year resolutions!
We all know some people who lose their collective shit when their pictures don’t get enough Likes, and Oh God the drama is unbearable!
Yeah so you really need to stop this bullshit. Please.
The other most commonly annoying habit is posting gym selfies or too many selfies in general. We get it. You go to the gym and may or may not have an attractive physique but we have seen enough.
JUST STOP IT ALREADY!
And while you’re at it, would you stop getting offended at anything and everything that you don’t like? It’s becoming mind-numbingly ridiculous now.
Also please, knowing the difference between Snapchat and Snapdeal would be greatly appreciated.
Life is short. Tag your friends in memes and reinforce the sacred bond of friendship.
And when you get tagged in a meme, express your appreciation and gratitude. True friends are hard to find.
A wise man once said, do not wash your dirty laundry in public.
That means STOP IT WITH THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DRAMA WHEN YOU HAVE A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. If you have a good script, please visit Ekta Kapoor. I can give you the address.
1 Like = 1 Respect?
All the scientists, philosophers, and great men from history scoff at our idiocy when you actually Like, Share and Comment on pictures to ‘respect’ ‘pray’ or ‘salute’ someone.
Do you know what you’re doing? Giving them social media engagement THAT IS ALL.
If you really want to help, go donate some money to a charity because Mark Zuckerberg has not agreed to donate $1 for every like ANY GODDAMN PICTURE GETS ON FACEBOOK!
That is not how he became a Billionaire and the fifth richest man in the world.
STOP POSTING PICTURES WITH RANDOM GOOGLED CAPTIONS.
You cannot fake profound. Also, the liberty you take to use Coldplay lyrics and play fast and loose with them as captions for your pictures is absolutely infuriating.
You guessed it right because,
1 picture is fine. 2 is okay. 3 is well, tolerable. 4 will get you unfollowed and unfriended because
The most important part of what I want to express.
Read it. Read it, read it again and again until it makes sense to you.
If you’re on LinkedIn, please don’t think it’s Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat.
Your potential employers and industry peers do not want to look at you posing like an amateur model, drinking beer, or doing just about anything that does not qualify as an identifier.
It’s only supposed to show them what you look like, so keep it limited to that.
These are the social media new year resolutions we are begging for you to follow.