As much as I’ve loved watching The Bold Type for the social issues it shines a light on and its beautiful portrayal of what working in publishing feels like, I’ve loved it even more for everything it’s taught me about friendship and the way I see myself.
Watching Jane Sloan, Kat Edison, and Sutton Brady in The Bold Type is probably the first time I’ve seen a real representation of friendship onscreen that isn’t marked by promises of forever and faultless characters.
Dear Jane, Kat, and Sutton,
Thank you for showing me that there’s space for anger, disappointment as well as immense love in friendship, and what relationships can look like when they’re handled with care and compassion, through all their ups and downs. We’re often so lost in making sense of our own respective journeys, that sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of things that matter just as much. While misunderstandings, arguments, and displacement may be a part of every relationship, you showed us how to navigate our way through it all with clear communication.
You handled that argument over ‘privilege’ by making the other more aware instead of ridiculing them. You took some time off to soak in information instead of lashing out. It’s not every day that we come across such a healthy relationship! The three of you taught me the difference between self-care and being selfish and that this can be interpreted differently by people but all we can do is give them clarity about what we need.
I’ve spent the last 20 years trying to understand people and friendship, trying to make sense of the why’s each time a friendship went south. You taught me to hold on to what is, instead of what can be, to introspect before I place blame. But more than that, you normalized asking for help and allowing your people to stand by your side in good times and bad. Without judgment, you showed up for each other through gender and identity crises, breakups, I don’t think I want a baby, I don’t know why I’m unable to have sex with my boyfriend, Pull this yoni egg out of me, He cheated on me, I’m getting a mastectomy and so many little things that weren’t so little. More importantly, you unlearned the internal shame of reaching out for support during all these monumental little moments and helped me do the same.
Thank you for teaching me that showing up matters more than knowing what’s the right thing to say! I’ve experienced friendship, love, and sisterhood through you and it’s helped me see my own worth and set my boundaries with people who don’t deserve to share my space.
A 29-year-old still trying to figure it out
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