#KetchupTalks: Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee discusses the complexities of being a Millennial mother

Piyush Singh
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Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee

Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee unpacks the complexities of navigating motherhood in the millennial era. Keep reading to know her unique perspective on the joys and challenges of being a modern mom.

Imagine a millennial mom balancing a thriving career, her passion for travel, and the joys of motherhood. Unlike her predecessors, she doesn't feel pressured to conform to society's idealized image of a perfect mom. Instead, she can confidently make her own rules of parenting. Modern moms have a dynamic and inclusive approach to parenting with more room to prioritize self-expression, career aspirations, and personal growth alongside parenting duties. Additionally, moms of Generation X are reshaping traditional family structures, challenging gender norms, and advocating for equality in parenting responsibilities. Is it the spot where we can say that moms are finally getting the perfect motherhood experience where they have a choice of not compromising their own identity for their kids? Well, most of us might believe that there is a long road to travel before that happens. It has always been exhausting to be a mother, but this generation of moms find themselves facing a different set of challenges. 

One strives to balance their life and parenting responsibilities, along with the overwhelming pressure to excel in every aspect of life. On top of that, while the expectations that society has of women seem to have no end, a feeling of inadequacy and guilt can take over if you don't meet your personal expectations. In a chat with us, Shweta Tanwar Mukherjee, a content creator and a mother shares her experience being a mom as we try to understand the same from a millennial mom's perspective trying to “do it all”.

Also Read: How to prepare yourself for motherhood ft. Shirin Sewani

In what ways do you think millennial moms differ from previous generations of mothers? 

Millennial moms are indeed more inclusive, and balanced than previous generations. They prioritize raising children who are open-minded and accepting of others. Millennial moms know how to strike a balance between the virtual and real worlds. On one hand, they heavily rely on their support networks of family, friends, and fellow moms; on the other hand, they know how to make optimal use of online platforms and groups to connect with other parents and find support. Additionally, Millennial moms often seek a balance between their personal lives and careers. They also prioritize self-care and make an effort to take time for themselves amidst the demands of motherhood.

What challenges do you face as a millennial mom that you think your own mother didn't experience?

The pressure to excel in both career and motherhood is a big challenge for millennial moms. Unlike the upbringing I experienced, focused on becoming financially independent and strong, millennial moms are expected to fulfill multiple roles, not only as mothers but also as successful professionals, partners, and individuals. This can lead to feelings of overwhelm and guilt when they are unable to meet all of these demands, which I believe my mom hasn't experienced. The pressure to "do it all" was a real and significant source of stress as well.

How do you balance being a mother with your career or other personal pursuits?

I believe the key lies in planning, setting boundaries, seeking help, delegating, and prioritizing, while making the most of technology. However, it's crucial never to compare your life with others and to own your pace. Being patient with factors that are out of your control and viewing them as divine detours can also be helpful.

Are there any stereotypes about millennial moms that you feel are inaccurate or unfair?

In this tech-driven world, it's often assumed that our kids are being raised mainly by iPads, and some label us as lazy moms for not taking care of our kids as much as previous generations. However, this is unfair, as we strive to give our children the best of both worlds while also maintaining our own identity. We are always mothers, but we are not ONLY mothers. We need to have downtime to be the best, happiest versions of ourselves as moms.

How do you prioritize self-care while also taking care of your children?

I simply set my routines, establish boundaries for equal parenting, and prioritize downtime and rest. By being vocal about my needs, whether it's for rest or help in mommy duties, I believe I can achieve mom-work-life balance. As for the pressure to be a "perfect" mom in today's society, I don't buy into it. Early in my motherhood journey, I realized that a perfect mom doesn't exist. Pursuing perfection would only make me unhappy, and it wouldn't allow my child to have a fun childhood. I'd rather be a happy, healthy mom in a messy home with a joyous, naughty kid than strive for a picture-perfect home, look like a million dollars, and have a nervous child. In my book, a happy mom always trumps a perfect mom.

What advice would you give to other millennial moms based on your experiences?

Set your routines to fully enjoy motherhood. Never underestimate the importance of rest and downtime. Remember, people will always judge you no matter what, so it's best to get over it. Prioritize self-care to be a happy mom and set a positive example for your kid.

Take the time to talk to your kid and spend quality time with them; they simply need our tender loving care. Practice what you preach - kids only imitate! And never compare your life or your kid with anyone else's.

Don't you think it's commendable when women become all they want to while being a mom? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. 

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Shweta Tanwar Millenial Mother Motherhood Advice