Here’s a list of toxic things that we say out loud unintentionally so that we don’t end up uttering them again.
Have you ever had that moment when you vent out your feelings to someone and they ask you to relax? Frustrating, isn’t it? Not just others, but we’re ourselves guilty of the same behavior. When a friend approaches you wanting to rant their hearts out, to make them feel better, we might say something ridiculous unintentionally. When someone confides in us about their problems, instead of listening, we find it easier to provide advice, especially based on personal experience. And after all, we’re not the jack of all trades. We might end up giving advice that’s not really helpful. In fact, we might end up saying something toxic that we have been conditioned to say!
Hence this list of toxic things we say out loud might come in handy to be more mindful henceforth!
“I am so mad at the rude professor.” “Just chill.” “I have hurt my leg.” “Just chill.” “I broke up with my boyfriend.” “Just chill.” “The galaxy is collapsing.” “Just chill.” There is always that one person whose solution to every problem is “Just chill”. On the contrary, saying “Just chill” when someone is overwhelmed may actually upset them. Don’t be that one person, FFS!
“It’s all in your head”
Sure, everything is in our heads. Our brains control our bodies. However, that doesn’t mean that our emotions or feelings are not justified. Stop saying “It’s all in your head”. It makes you sound inconsiderate.
Even if you have the best intentions, don’t shame someone into not crying. We often find ourselves compelled to make someone stop crying so that we can restore peace. Sure, sometimes crying too much or too often can impact your health. However, when you’re grieving, the only way out is through. If crying makes someone feel better, let them. Hold them while they cry. Let them know you are there for them. In case you still want to ask someone to stop crying, this GIF is what you will look like!
“You don’t look fat. You look beautiful”
Fat doesn’t mean ugly. Being insensitive is ugly. Be considerate!
Just because it passed, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. When someone is grieving for a long time, especially during a breakup or the loss of a loved one, we might think it’s wise to tell people to move on. However, contrary to the popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. The pace of recovery is different for different people. It’s okay to recover at your own pace. Don’t force someone into moving on; be there for them until and after they do.
“You look sad”
This is one of the worst things to say to someone. In a world obsessed with “good looks”, don’t tell someone that they look sad. It’s insensitive. Try to cheer them, if you want. But making them feel bad about looking sad is a bad idea.
“Why are you so quiet?”
“Because I don’t want to talk to you,” might be the right answer, but let’s try to stay civil. During gatherings, some people want to stay quiet or they like to listen. Whatever the reason is, don’t force someone into talking. It’s rude!
“Oh, but I love thinking negatively,” said nobody ever. Because nobody deliberately wants to have negative thoughts all day. However, being positive always is not practical or possible. Hence, when someone is going through a tough phase, asking them to stay positive further makes them feel guilty about thinking negatively. “Be positive” is better as a blood group. Let’s keep it at that.
“Everything happens for a reason”
No. Trauma doesn’t happen for a reason; neither does injustice, loss, or physical harm. You can try to find the good in something. However, to each, his own. Sometimes, pain doesn’t teach you anything at all. It just hurts. Not everything is a lesson and that’s fine!
“Others have it worse than you”
What kind of a selfish person derives happiness from thinking that others are more miserable than them? “Others have it worse” not only invalidates someone’s pain but also represents a grim scenario. Pain cannot be measured in kilos. If it hurts, it hurts. There are better ways to relieve pain than thinking how much worse things could be.
Can you think of other such toxic things that we unintentionally say out loud? Let us know in the comments.