Stuck in traffic, awkward banter with waiters, tardiness, sexual advances –women have had it all! First dates make everyone jittery and for the right reason! On the rare occasions, you might end up having a fun time, but more often than not you’re doomed!
Twitter user @_ItsMissBre started a thread of disastrous first date stories by women and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! The stories went swinging from watching the guy pee to listening to him talk about his ex!
The comment section was swamped with women supporting each other laughing those nights off. But my favorite was the disbelief from the men’s side! Some of them couldn’t believe these were real and that they belong to the same species as these weird men, lol!
Although there were hundreds of tales, it was fun hand picking some of the most hilarious/weird ones! Check them out:
1. CREEP ALERT!
Worst pre-date: asked me if I liked heels and when I said yes, asked if I would wear them to our date along with high waisted jeans, full face of makeup, and lipgloss like “he likes”. And followed up with “are you gonna look good for me?” and let me “feel you up a little”. ?
— King Nina (@SkyLikeSin) August 24, 2018
2. Hypocrisy Redefined.
“I don’t usually date Black women, but I’m making an exception for you.” – One of the ashiest black men I’ve ever had the misfortune of running across who has four black daughters and two black sons and who also ghosted me on our “date” but left $100 with the manager, so I won.
— Two Boobs Johnson (@mwdominicana) August 23, 2018
3. I haven’t heard of a date as fatal as this.
Shows up with a friend who is dressed like Michael Jackson. On our way to the car, the friend drops a bottle & a shard of glass pops into my date’s ?. Cut to the ER..me & the friend are in the waiting room, it’s packed! He gets up & proceeds to put on a full concert of MJ tunes
— MrsBundrige (@bigsisternes) August 25, 2018
4. Look I’m not saying men are gross but here it is…
Went on a date to see Mariah Carey w a dude who talked the entire time and tried to scam better seats he didn’t pay for. On the way to the car, he dumped a bunch of trash on the ground and proceeded to pee on it. Worst date in my entire life!
— Adrienne (@OK_Adrienne) August 24, 2018
5. Um, do you know anything about women buddy?
We drove to a restaurant and before we got out the car his phone rang and he answered it on his car bluetooth. It was another woman saying that she was in town and wanted to meet up with him. He followed up with "yea I definitely want to bust you down" while I am in the damn car!
— Chakra ? Khan ? (@bluntfairytale) August 24, 2018
6. Wait, what?
Cousin set me up with her boyfriend’s friend. Kept tryna spike my drinks after I told him I wasn’t drinking. Later after the date called me 10x looking for the cocaine he thought he left in my car but forgot he snorted it already ?
— Maddie Who?! (@TheVirginMaddie) August 24, 2018
7. Jeez, learn to take a no guys. Also, pretending to be drunk? You sure you’re not in high school?
Oh god. He pretended 2b too drunk to drive home. I let him stay at my apt. The next am he came into my room to show me his morning wood. I politely declined with a classic “I’m on my period.”
“Are you bleeding from your mouth too?” was his reply. Dinner @bennigans #THEworstdate
— scrappywo (@SteviStanton) August 25, 2018
8. Chivalry? Decency? No? Okay.
He took me to lunch & told me i couldn’t order anything more than $10 off the menu. Instead of taking a Lyft back he has us WALKING BACK after lunch. I couldn’t believe it so i stopped talking to him. He then walks ahead of me and doesn’t even check to see if i made it back safe
— Goddess (@problkgoddess97) August 24, 2018
9. He took ‘it’s gonna be one hell of a ride’ too seriously!
He hit a cop car and took off running and I got detained ??
— One Million Niggas Inside ™ (@AreefaStankin) August 24, 2018
10. TOOK OUT HIS FAKE TEETH BEFORE KISSING? What is this world?!
He asked me how many kids I wanted, cut up a fruit roll-up and called it dessert, and took out his fake front teeth before he tried to kiss me. Wish I was kidding.
— kurtvilentines (@brosaleigh) August 25, 2018
After reading these – and many more, thank me for sparing you the horror ladies – I can confidently say I have officially lost faith in the concept of dating.
In the concept of men too, to be honest. Kidding (not!)